Now is not the time to be sad...

I chanced upon one of my past entries in my journal and found this well written entry. (ahem..ahem.. at least in my perspective hehehe...) So thought I'd share it with the hope of enlightening others too..

August 14, 2007

10:49 PM

Now is not the time to be sad
It is not the time to be worried
Nor the time to feel bad

Now is the time to relish every moment
Moments of peace and joy
Moments of love from my dear Jesus.

He granted me this moment
To take the time to re align my strategies
To take the time to be quiet and just listen to His heart.

It is a wonderful time.

Amazing how God works in my life
Just when I ask him to be Lord of every area of my life.

Amazing cause His ways are higher than my ways.
And His thinking so far above than my thinking.

The moment I get startled and worried with the things I see
I have to remind myself that my God has a perfect plan for me.

He is precise, exact and does not falter.
He has a perfect plan and purpose for everything.
And every moment comes to me as a pleasant surprise.

Amazing…
He is…
Truly Amazing.

You are Amazing Lord.

I want to know you more and more.
I come to you in humility.
Please allow me to experience life again.
The life you really want for me.

I praise you Lord Jesus.

I am sorry for all the hurts I may have caused you.
Please walk with me all through out my life.

I love you Lord.

--Jenne

Where do I start?

This was one of the BIG questions I had.
After realizing I really needed to hear what God has to say,
I said to God, "Ok, I'm ready to listen.. where do i start? how do i start?"

Well, as I mentioned in my earlier entry, The PDL (Purpose Driven Life) Group I joined proved to be a very good jump start.

Most of the group members recommended reading the Book of John as a starting point.
Why not Genesis some people asked.. Well yes its ok to start reading from Genesis too... But they recommended to start with John because it talks about the Life of Jesus and the very reason why we are here today.

So we all read John... we were supposed to read one entry a day (para daw mas ma-internalize mo yung mga words) but I'm a bit pasaway (hihi..) So I read to my heart's delight... We were supposed to be in chapter 15 today.. but yesterday while waiting for my client in a coffee shop I FINISHED the whole book of John all the way to Chapter 21! hehehe...

I remember one of the members of the PDL group saying, "Once you start reading the Bible.. You'll be really hooked with the stories... Like the tele-novelas that people watch on TV!" And so as I was reading the book of John.. I was like... this is better than the tele-novela! hehehee...

There was this one part that I read where I cried because I felt the Love of Mary Magdalene for Jesus so much. It was the part where the tomb of Jesus was empty. When she discovered that Jesus body was not there she was crying and crying and said "They have taken my Lord away, and I don't know where they put him" Then Jesus appeared to her but she did not realize that it was already Jesus. She thought that he was the gardener so she asked him, "Sir if you have carried him away tell me where you have put him and I will get him"

I cried because this woman was technically looking for Jesus' dead body.. I mean technically what else can you do with a dead body? right? And yet, she says...Tell me where you have put him and I WILL GET HIM. She was that determined to find her Lord Jesus!! She was really truly crying out for him. And that hit me right through.

Cause I think in my life, I really had to get to that point where I'm really truly crying out for him . More than just knowing that he is my Lord and Savior.. But really crying out from the deepest part of my heart that I need my Jesus. And when I did seek him.. He appeared.. Just like what happened to Mary Magdalene also...

And Jesus said to her, "Mary".

And at that she recognized him and said "Rabboni!!" (meaning Teacher)

Can you imagine the feeling of losing somebody you really really love and then all of a sudden he appears again?? If that's not dramatic and moving.. I don't know what is.. hehehe..

So to answer the question of where do I start?

I think my answer would be 2 things:
The practical way: read the book of John
OR
The personal way: read the book of John with a heart that is seeking Him.

Try the second one. You'll definitely feel the difference.
*Maybe you can try reading it one chapter at a time also.. hehe.. para mas lalo pang enriching ang pagbabasa.

Now I'm off to reading the book of Acts :D

How I began to see things differently

I've been a Christian all my life and have been very lucky to have parents and grand parents who are Christians. So I received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior at a very early age. I am a proud Sunday School Kid and I even won as a champion in the memory verse competition as well as the highest giver in our tabernacle jars. I was blessed with both academic and non-academic awards from elementary all the way to highschool and college. I was accepted as an exchange student in Canada, got a Gold Medal for my Marketing Thesis and I even got a job offer as Marketing Manager even before I officially graduated.

With that great foundation as a child and the great things that came thereafter, one would think that I was pretty much set to face the real world. One would probably think that everything else in my life would go pretty much as planned or maybe better.

Or so I thought...

At 23, I had a whirlwind romance and got pregnant in just a few months... which lead me to deciding that I should get married. And got married I did.

I could still remember the tears in my mother's eyes when we told her I am pregnant and planning to get married. Without her saying it, I knew her dreams for me came crumbling down.

So in less than 12 months, I met a guy, got pregnant, got married and gave birth. [If you were my mother, imagine how that would give you the shock of your life?!]

But the drama of my life didn't end there...

Within 12 months after giving birth, my husband and I separated for serious reasons that we were both responsible for.

Needless to say, I successfully added another chapter to my [and my family's] wall of shame...

Where was God in my life during all these trying times?
Well, He was there.. but I never truly allowed him to take over the driver seat.
And so I couldn't get a good grip of what he really wanted me to do in my life.
I just kept praying "Lord show me the way, give me answers, what will I do?"
But I never really listened... "Listen to what?" the voice in my head kept asking...

I didn't know what to listen to cause I didn't know the voice of God?!
Here is a girl who is a Christian all her life and did not know the VOICE OF GOD?!
Imagine the shock of my life when I realized that! It struck me hard... really hard.
All of a sudden I feel like a baby Christian all over again.

So I decided to seek Him.
I decided that the only way I can truly be able to communicate in a two-way street is to
1) Open up my life to him and 2) Know what he has to say, by reading his Word.

The opening up part was a little bit hard cause I'm used to having things all-together.
But when I started writing everything down in a personal journal, opening up became easier. And I didn't feel the need to explain myself or justify myself on what I was saying or writing, cause I knew God will take it lovingly. In fact, the more I opened up the more I realized that God really wanted me to willingly open up my heart to him and that he has been waiting all this time for me to do exactly that. To give my heart to HIM--bare, naked and whole.

The "knowing what he has to say" was even harder cause I didn't know where to start. Which part of the bible should I start reading? Do I read randomly? Do I just open up the Bible and whatever page it opens up to is what I should read for that day? Well.. at first I did exactly that... hehehe... (random reading) But the words didn't make much sense to me and I felt there was more.. So I tried reading by topics (you know the index in the back of the bible that has topics e.g. Grace, Happiness, Forgiveness) The Bible reading by topics worked.. but by the time I finished reading the topics that I was interested in.. I didn't know what to read next. So I tried asking one of my Christian friends on how she does her bible reading, and she said she has a devotional and she and her husband is in a prayer group as well. So this time I searched through the internet for daily devotions and I did find a nice site (www.adevotion.org)... But still I felt there was something lacking...

By this time, I'm sure God has already sensed that I was serious about seeking him... hehehe.. So He worked through other people to get to me... And this was thru an invitation that I read in one of the yahoo groups I am subscribed to. This one guy was forming a PDL (Purpose Driven Life) Group where they will be reading the book PDL through 40days and will be meeting once a week! I knew right away that I must sign up. And so I did.

Today, it has only been a little over 40 days and my communication with God has changed dramatically. The situations around me haven't changed much, but my understanding of the things happening around me has drastically shifted.

And as I write this blog about how I began to see things differently, I feel God's amazing presence working through my fingers cause I know there's so much more I can write about his grace, mercy, love and glory.

God's presence has never been so real in my life.

It is my earnest hope and pray that all the people I know and all the people I love will experience God's presence to become even more real in their lives too.

Here's to more blogging of how Great our God is. :)

Purpose Driven Life

Have you ever read this book?
Well if you haven't I highly encourage you to please do.
It is an enriching, life changing book especially if you just let the Holy Spirit work you out from the inside.

Thanks to Jong's invitation to join a PDL (Purpose Driven Life) Support Group, I have recently discovered the beautiful wonders of God working in my life. :)

I am already at Day 26 and so far it's been FABULOUS!
Knowing Jesus and growing day after day has never been so great as this.
All my ups and downs makes a whole lot more sense these days.

And I just remembered this one line from Nelson Mandela that made me realize that I should continue writing in this blog...

"Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you."

I'll post more of this speech in another entry :)

So I hope you get a copy of the book soon and get a reading partner so you can share all your thoughts and brilliant ideas :)