Staying Positive

It's not easy staying positive.

It's not easy to look beyond what we see and feel right now.

I went to church today and the lyrics in the song Nothing is Impossible (by planetshakers) hit home... it said..

I'm not gonna live by what I see...

I'm not gonna live by what I feel...

That's exactly what we should speak over ourselves when things are so impossible in the body or in the present.. We need to speak against negative thoughts and feelings.. and stay in the presence of God..

It is not at all easy.. and we have to remind ourselves that it is not through our own efforts that we are able to attain peace or positivity lest we feel completely frustrated.

It is only in God's presence where we can find that "inner peace".

And for those who resist alot or have a whole lot of drama (like myself.. hehe), it doesn't happen overnight.. we have to consistently seek God, thirst for God and reach out to God.. it is an unending learning process on how to stay in His presence and each lesson just gets better and better every time.

I was searching through the internet on devotions about Luke 6:45 "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks" and I chanced upon a page that has this prayer in the end.. which I copied and posted in my wall... I believe God wouldn't mind me copying the prayer that reached out to me.. and just might reach out to others.. :)

Here it is:

And here is a prayer I'd like to pray over myself.. Father I choose to put away all thoughts, words and deeds against others. I only listen to the voice of the Good Shepherd and not the lies and ramblings of the enemy. When I behold the face of the Lord my focus is not distracted. The words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart become more acceptable with each passing day. The attitudes of my heart, which form my words, are submitted to the King of Kings. I have the mind of Christ and hold the thoughts and intents of His heart. Therefore, my words match up and come into agreement with His words. I take every contrary thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I surrender every word of my mouth to the scrutiny of the gospel. I am one who releases life and not death with my words. In Jesus Name, Amen

--------------

And for those of you who are interested in the full lyrics of the song Nothing is Impossible by Planetshakers.. here it is..

Through You I can do anything
I can do all things
'Cause it's You who gives me strength
Nothing is impossible
Through You blind eyes are open
Strongholds are broken
I am living by faith
Nothing is impossible
I'm not gonna live by what I see
I'm not gonna live by what I feel
Deep down I know that You're here with me
And I know that You can do anything
I believe, I believe
I believe, I believe in you

I Worship Jesus!

I got my son to attend Kids Camp 2011 in New Life. :)

It was a 4-day event and the main theme is: I WORSHIP JESUS!
I'm so glad I did. My son not only had fun and enjoyed every minute of it, he is now even more fired up in singing with me and the many christian music i play in the car while driving. In fact he even asks me to not sing with him so he can show that he can sing on his own now. :D

Here is our favorite.. and i think also the favorite of some people around me who always hear me sing it.. hehehe...

Our God
by Tom Colin

Water You turned into wine
Open the eyes of the blind
There’s no one like You
None like You
Into the darkness You shine
Out of the ashes we rise
There’s no one like You
None like You

CHORUS
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shine
Out of the ashes we Rise
There’s no One like You
None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…
Our God is greater, our God is stronger
God You are higher than any other
Our God is Healer, awesome in power
Our God, Our God…

BRIDGE (*this is the part where joey gets really excited and fired up.. hehe)
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?
What can stand against?

-----------

I've been singing this song since February of this year.. Most especially during the times when I feel so down and out with Dad being sick.. and even more when Dad died...
I especially love the lyrics that says, if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us and if our God is with us, then what can stand against???

I use those words to counter any form of worry, despair and depression!
It is simply amazing to hold on to it... cause if we truly believe that God is for us and with us, then we have nothing to worry about.

He will provide and He will lead us to the right path.

Try searching this song in Youtube.
I am sure you will feel God in every line and you will feel very blessed.
I know I have. :)

Delegate

My reading of last week still echoes in my head and it says: "Moses' Father in law replied, 'What you are doing is not good. You and these people who come to you will only wear yourselves out. The work is too heavy for you, you cannot handle it alone" --Exodus 18:17-18

Akalain mo yun. hehehe.. there is actually a verse/s in the bible that addresses my being a workaholic and always taking on everything on my own.. hahaha... I was smiling while reading this as it spoke so loudly to me.. WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS NOT GOOD. hahahaha... and it goes on to say.. YOU CANNOT HANDLE IT ALONE... :D :D :D hihihi.. kakatuwa tlga si Lord.. ang galing galing nya mag remind kung san ako nagkukulang..

So this weekend with what my title indicates, which is by the way The word to take with you today, DELEGATE... I delegated a whole lot of tasks this weekend :)

This weekend I had 2 bridal car accounts, 1 catering event, 1 exhibit event, 2 client meetings, 1 food tasting client, plus an overnight outing in San Mateo Rizal and a swimming event for Joey's school! and I was able to make all of it happen without me physically being there in all of it! (i only attended the outing and the swimming hehehe) yipeeee... I actually put into action the word DELEGATE and actually trusted and had faith in my staff that they can do it... :)

And I feel happy and refreshed that I got to spend time with joey and relax a little bit.
I'm really very happy that the Lord is working inside of me.

I liked what my devotional book said about this topic:
Many women.. (and men too!) struggle with the "need" to please everyone. But we simply can't be everywhere at once. We can't even do everything we would like to do. Trying to be all things to all people puts on the fast track to burnout! (yes that is me.. hehe) But when we delegate, we are freed up to focus on the things GOD has given us to do.

Delegating also creates the opportunity for another capable person to grow into a new role. (CORRECT! :) ) The people around Moses might never have become leaders if he hadn't given them the opportunity. It's the same for us today. Sometimes the best thing we can do for others AND ourselves is to step aside so someone else can step up. (TAMA................... hahahaha)

Correct diba?! hehe... jenne step aside na kse so someone else can step up.. hahaha..
Its funny my cousin asked me in a sarcastic manner.. is it your rule in the office to call you all the time? they cannot move if you are not there? hahahahaa... I was laughing but that actually made sense.. bakit nga ba, lahat ng bagay kelangan itawag sa akin, pati mga simpleng bagay kelangan ako pa rin ang magdecide?! why?

Then my cousin followed up by saying, in my office, they will only call me if they cannot solve the problem anymore. Takot lang nila tawagan ako dahil makakarinig sila saken.. hahaa...

So its like all-week God is really pointing out the message of DELEGATE :)

The reflection questions on my devotional book asked these questions:
What are your highest priorities? can you release a current responsibility to someone else and encourage that person to grow? What chores can you delegate to your children so they can grow and learn to serve others?

My answer to this is... my highest priorities are 1)my personal relationship with God. 2)my quality time with my son. 3)my efficient and effective management skills for my business.

There is definitely a whole lot of current responsibilities that I can release to others particularly my staff both office and household. And after much thought about this topic, I'm now looking forward and excited to help other people grow in their responsibilities. Gotta let go of my being tooooooo obssessive-compulsive about work. Gotta let go of getting too wound up about things when it doesn't go right (haha.. goodluck to me on this one!.. im almost always too stressed out when my staff does things wrong... but i'll definitely try my best)

So thank you Lord for your wonderful, loud and clear message. DELEGATE :)
It will surely do me some good.. and maybe, just maybe... to my dear reader, it will do you some good too.

Big Girls Don't Cry

Have you ever been in-love?

Have you ever been broken hearted?

For all of us who have been there, you know what I mean when I say, it ain't easy.. it ain't easy at all. My good friend who has 4kids now, even told me it breaks her heart even more when she realized that all her children will have to go through the same pain and hardship of going through a heart-break. She asks herself, how am I to comfort them when that time comes, when she knows there's really no way around it.

You're probably thinking I'm in-love right now.. or maybe the other option--broken-hearted right now.. hehehe.. EHNGK>> wrong answer.. I'm neither! (did that sound like a buzzer.. hehe.. i don't know how to write the sound of a buzzer.. hahaha)

Well, the reason I wrote this post is because I have a group-singing gig coming up and we're singing Big Girls Don't Cry (by Fergie). And going through the lyrics reminds me of that broken-hearted feeling.. I never really took notice of the song's lyrics before but if you read through it, it actually has a very good message.. A message of getting back on your feet and finding yourself..

As I sing it over and over so I can memorize my part.. hehe.. I'm actually loving it.. Especially the part where it says... I have to be with myself and center, CLARITY, PEACE, SERENITY.

Wow! so perfect.. I should've learned this song when I was broken hearted.. It would have made me feel a little bit better... hahaha..

Do you know what serenity means? As my mom always prays... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. And that's exactly what we need to ask for when we're broken hearted.. when we're down and out.. when things don't go the way we want it to.. To Learn to Accept Things We Cannot Change.

We cannot change the reality that the people we used to love, don't love us anymore. We cannot change the reality that the person you dream about is already someone else's love. We cannot change the reality that the people you depend on, has already gone.

Or maybe the positive leads you were working so hard on, went with another company instead. Or maybe the success and fame that you used to have, has faded.

So many things we cannot change.. but the song goes on and says..

"But I've got to get a move on with my life."

and the punch line ofcourse goes like this..

"Its time to be a big girl now... And Big Girls Don't Cry"

I love the song now.

It's very real yet empowering.

Thank GOD, I'm a "little bit" of a BIG Girl now.. ;)

How about you?

-----

LYRICS

Big Girls Don't Cry

by Fergie

The smell of your skin lingers on me now

You're probably on your flight back to your home town

I need some shelter of my own protection, baby

To be with myself and center

Clarity, peace, serenity

CHORUS:

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, myself and I

We've got some straightenin out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But I've got to get a move in with my life

It's time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

The path that I'm walkin, I must go alone

I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown

Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending, do they

And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

-CHORUS-

BRIDGE:

Like the little school mate in the school yard

We'll play jacks and Uno cards

I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine

Valentine

Yes, you can hold my hand if you want to

Cause I want to hold yours too

We'll be playmates and lovers

And share our secret worlds

But it's time for me to go home

It's getting late, dark outside

I need to be with myself and center

Clarity, peace, serenity

-CHORUS-

Balance

A friend once told me you need to create balance.
One of the many services at New Life that stuck to me was about balance.
I know of so many instances that I told myself I will create balance in my life.

But how exactly do we do that?
How exactly do "I" do that?
With work biting me in the ass.. How the !@#@$ do I do that?

I take joey to his different classes--swimming, tennis, dance, etc. Does that count as balance?
I eat breakfast or brunch with ma now.. does that count as balance?
I go ballroom dancing once in a while.. does that count as balance?
I go to church on wednesdays or sundays... does that count as balance?
I cleaned "some" of my drawers (hehe).. does that count as balance?
I'm back on my feet writing again... does that count as balance?
Hey I might even be considering having a love life sometime in this lifetime.. does that count as balance?? heheheh...

I go back to where I started.. and my work challenges didn't change.. so i still end up stressed..
Hmmmmmm......

Maybe if I ramp up the speed on considering a love life, maybe the stress would change?? hmm... nahhh... i might even get worse.. hehehehe...

Balance.. balance.. balance...

How do we do get to do that?
I really don't know..
But I'll keep trying.. when I've figured it out.. I'll let you know..

Cheers!

Pardon my post...
My post seems senseless.. hahaha...
I don't think you got anything from reading this :p

I do not eat the bread of idleness

This holy week has been most productive for me.

It all started when I dreamt of my dad telling me to go through my things cause I still had some stuff left. In my dream it was tagalog.. hehe.. dad said, "Anak tignan mo pa dun, may mga gamit ka pa do'n"

The whole dream was quite weird but an urging in my spirit was telling me.. go.. go.. go and take baby steps in orderliness.. So I did :D

If you know me, you'd know I'm ms. "tambak" hehehe..
When my table gets too cluttered, what I do is I take out all the clutters on my table and shove it to a basket or a rack or a corner.. hahaha.. and allow it to collect as much dust as it can! Or until my mother begins to yell at me.. hehehe... But now that I'm all grown up I think my mother gave up on yelling at me altogether.. and she's probably making use of the power of prayer instead to get my ass moving.. hahahaha... :p Hey, I'm being honest here.. its not easy to admit that.. but yes I am Ms. "tambak"

It has always been part of my prayer to God to help me overcome this weakness of mine. And I believe it is really a long process on how God works on us.. It's never a quick fix with God.. It all starts with a heart that seeks.. and it has to continue on with a heart that seeks him even more...

I finished cleaning my desk and drawers! I still have one big shelf left.. but overall my office area is pretty much neat and clean already!! I can't believe it.. hahaha.. My "tambak" has been in the box for over a year! bwahahahaa... And now IT'S CLEAN! :) :) :)

When I finished everything.. I remembered there is a verse in the bible that talks about being clean and organized .. So I looked it up... and its in my favorite chapter Proverbs 31.

And it said on verse 27:
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Yes! Yes! Yes! I am a success! I did not eat the bread of idleness during this Holy Week :)
I am so happy about myself.

I am a work in progress.

Thank you Lord.
This Easter Sunday, we remember Jesus Christ and it brings me to tears thinking about what He has done for us.... to die for our sins.. to save us from our past.. to redeem us... even though we do not deserve it.. but by GRACE we have been saved.
Oh dear Lord, thank you for your son Jesus.
Thank you Thank you Thank you.

I offer my baby steps of cleanliness and orderliness to You Lord.
I know You are smiling back at me.. You're probably saying.. Finally! my daughter listened! hehehe... I love you Lord and Thank you Thank you Thank you.. for I know You are working inside of me.

FC Tips 101: Envelope

I remembered a learning the other day when I visited a wake.. I made a mental note of the lesson to remember as a tip for funeral coordination.. and the lesson is..

#1 Must Have Empty Envelopes. :)

For what? you might ask.. hehe.. Well its for those people who want to give "abuloy" but don't have an envelope to put it in. :D

I was with my cousin when we visited the wake and because we didn't have an envelope, you know where she ended up inserting the money? in an empty sim card envelope.. hehehe... we gave the envelope and her friend said, ano 'to Load? hahahaha.... So lesson is... must have empty envelopes.

More tips next time...

Funeral Coordinator

Days has passed and the more I feel my calling in being a funeral coordinator.
Beyond the potential amount of money that can be earned *which I have yet to figure out..., I truly feel for everyone who has experienced a death in the family.

The concept of having a funeral coordinator is quite foreign to us Filipinos. Much like how people viewed wedding coordinators in the years back. So lets ask the important question, WHY? Why do you need a funeral coordinator?

With everything that has happened to me and our family, this is what I have surmised.
1. You need a funeral coordinator because you need a person of sound mind and heart to assist you in the decisions you have to make for the funeral.

2. You need a funeral coordinator because you need a person who will safeguard and protect your welfare from numerous people who take advantage of your grief and disorientation.

3. You need a funeral coordinator because you need a person who will guide you through the processes of death to the wake to the interment.


I remember that last few minutes of my dad, all the nurses were running around like headless chickens figuring out why they couldn't get his BP. Until finally they've concluded there was no more pulse. Time of Death 4:09 AM, the doctor said out loud. Then came silence.. a long silence... tears falling.. all i could do was rub my dad's cold feet and over and over again I whispered I Love You Dad.. I Love You Dad.... We were all at a loss... what now? what do we do now? My mom and I staring at blank space. Our minds floating in the air as if time has stopped and the world is moving in slow-mo.. or maybe it was because we were not moving at all..

My sister arrived and the OC that she is, she kept telling the nurse and doctors what happened? what else can we do? ganun na lang yun? wala na ba tayong magagawa pa? wala na ba kayong gagawin pa? she was practically harassing them.. Well, I can't blame her.. my sister has done everything she could in the last three months and why wouldn't she do the same on the last hour.. Just to calm her down, I had to tell her definitively "Wala na ate jack. Wala na si Dad. It's done". Tears again...

The doctors say you need to wait 45 minutes before they move the body. Silence again.......
It was like we were all in a trance or in tagalog.. tulala.. I thought to myself.. Pano ba ang mamatayan? Ano ba ang ginagawa pag ikaw ay namatayan?

You get blown by the wind and you just flow.. you don't even know where you're going..

Barely an hour and a half from my "tulala" self and just right after the Private Nurse asked permission to leave, my mother tells me the cash money I gave her the night before is missing. In all our "kaguluhan" we were not able to secure her bag.. Then I checked my bag, and my cash was gone toooooo!!!!!!! The part that's even more frustrating is that where our bags are placed are inside the room where only the Private Nurse and Close Family can go to.. So either we all stole from each other (which would be pointless) or the Private Nurse did it! waaaaaaaaaaa..........
My tears of loss is now turned into anger! How can people do that? In the middle of your grief, they steal from you??? WTF!

Just right there in that moment, I knew the cheaters, swindlers and victimizers of the world makes no exemptions in death. In fact they probably celebrate your loss and vulnerability for its their perfect time to attack and the worst part is sometimes you wouldn't even know they already duped you.

Sorry to sound so negative, but its really the sad truth. From hospitals, to memorial services even florists and other suppliers.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying everyone is like that, but I'm saying if you don't have a funeral coordinator of sound mind and heart, you just might end up with the cheaters.

I hope you got something out of my post.
It sure makes me feel better writing about it.

I am a work-in-progress.
I can sense, my calling for funeral coordination can go leaps and bounds.

I'll write more of my learnings in the days to come.

My head is hurting

Going through old pictures and finally downloaded all pictures in my phone.
Who wouldn't cry again and have a big headache after seeing these..

I miss you Dad..
I love you Dad...

Amidst my tears, I hold on to my verse this week that says....
"And the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus."

Yes Lord, grant me Your peace.

Be Anxious for Nothing

In other words, DO NOT FRET or WORRY.
Instead of worrying... PRAY :)

I think this is truly the perfect verse to go over and over again for me.
For all the worry warts out there like me, this is the perfect verse to hold on to..
hehehehe...

Be Anxious for NOTHING!
But in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to GOD....

Yes, that's right, go ahead and let your requests be made known to GOD.. In other words, TELL HIM! Tell the heavenly Father your requests.. and don't just whine and whine and whine all day... hehehehehe...

So let's focus on those two simple points...
1) Do not Worry--be anxious for nothing.
2) Pray--tell God your requests.

I think I can do that.
Can you do that?
;)

On the 11th of April 2011

Is my mother's birthday.

Happy birthday Ma!

She turns 58 today.

And my memory verse for the week is:
Philippians 4:6-7
(NKJV)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

:)

I wish the world would stop.

Sometimes I wish the world would just stop.
I wish my world would take a halt so I can have time to breathe..
So I can have time to cry..
So I can completely mourn over my loss..
So I can see what else is still here..
So I can enjoy some time alone..
So I can be ok.

But our worlds don't stop.
It just keeps going.... and going... and going...
The world moves.. and in my moments of grief, I'm not sure if I can move with it.
But I have to...

So I keep at it..
Fake it til I make it.

Sometimes we think its easier to deny sadness or grief..
For the most part where you drown yourself in busy-ness--its easy.. until it hits you..
And you realize, you're not ok... I'm not ok..
I am grieving.

As my friend tells me.. it comes in waves..
I hope the next wave doesn't hit as bad.

----
Philippians 4:6-7
(MSG)
Don't fret or worry.
Instead of worrying, pray.
Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns.
Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.